Dtjytyk

I work on a team of 8 people for a U.S financial company, and a few weeks ago, a business meeting with some clients overseas was taking place. My manager asked us in an e-mail if anyone can speak and translate Russian. I privately responded (I e-mailed the manager directly) and offered to help, as I can speak fluent Russian. As far as I know, before the meeting nobody on my team was aware I could speak Russian. The meeting went great, and both sides were happy. Privately my manager thanked me, and I moved forward.

I don't know if the manager told someone on my team but word spread that I can speak Russian, but the interesting part is, it isn't obvious. I'm not a native Russian, I learned it (the reason is rather silly and unimportant) but didn't think it would come in handy for my job.

My problem is a few members of my team constantly tease me because of this, and given today's political situation, they often reference Trump and Russia in some way. At first I laughed it off, but it is getting on my nerves. They do it before team meetings (while we're waiting in the conference room), or before they go out to lunch (my desk is right by the door).

How can an introverted non confrontational individual make this stop?

How can an introverted non confrontational individual make this stop?

It will stop when you stop reacting to their teasing.

Never let jealous, ignorant coworkers (or anyone else) bother you when they lack your knowledge. Be proud of what you know. Clearly, it helped your manager.

It sounds to me as if your coworkers are jealous of your wonderful ability. I feel knowing another language, let alone being fluent in it, is a great asset. I'm sorry you have to deal with childish adults who don't appreciate how cool that really is.

Don't react to their comments and continue to do what you do. I'm personally impressed that you speak Russian. I learned Mandarin for a silly reason too (a girl). But it's come in handy later in life and I don't let the haters hate.

It doesn't need to be accusatory or confrontational.

If your co-workers are not truly over-grown teenagers, you might try something like this:

Hi folks, I know that everyone is just kidding around and means nothing by it, but the constant Russian jokes have really grown old. I am politely asking that we please give the jokes a break. Thank you. For clarification, jokes are fine, I am just really tired of the Russian jokes.

In short, given them a chance to be adults about it, but be clear about what the problem is.

if they don't respond to this, then hey... you've tried to be civil and mature about it. Ask your boss to politely notify everyone that they need to follow the golden rule, and they'll get the picture quickly.

It is worth including your specific reasons to why it bothers you. If you don't mind the Russian jokes, but being compared to Putin or Trump bugs you, say that (in a way that won't get you fired...). If you really just dislike being the center of attention due to the jokes and always having to be ready to put on a friendly face, that's okay to say too. Your co-workers should and probably will respect your honest reasons.

What you DON'T want to do is put them on the defensive. You should make it clear that you know it's supposed to be in good fun, and is just not a good fit for your personality. Don't accuse anyone of trying to be mean or anything, it will put even the most emotionally mature person back on their heels.

Here are some things that won't work

• wait until no-one is teasing you, approach them, and start a whole thing about how you're fed up with this teasing and it needs to stop


• variants of the above involving having someone else (your boss, HR, one colleague you trust) approach them and tell them to stop


• over-reaction at the time of teasing that can be interpreted as whining. "You Guuuuys! You're hurting my FEEEEEELINGS!"


• escalation of any kind where you tease or insult them back

Two things that will work

• one neutral rejoinder that says "I know this is a joke, I'm taking it lightly, it doesn't bother me." I don't have wording for you, you will have to come up with it yourself. You could for example joke that you are a spy between missions and have some sort of catchprase that refers to it. "Just building software to pass the time till I get a mission" or something else ridiculous. For the Trump stuff, "I'll remember you all when I'm on the Supreme Court."


• find what I call the "mother voice" - not angry, not loud, just completely sure I will be obeyed - and give one word orders. Stop. Another time: Enough. Perhaps two words: New Topic. No "please", nobody's name, no explanations. Just the order. You don't need to explain -- they know that extended teasing goes beyond "just fun" and that they have done this already. If they respond with "why?" or "what's the matter?" or anything else, just repeat your order in the same tone. They know very well that switching to bothering you about the teasing is not separate from the teasing.

If teasing you is not interesting, they will move on. Laughing it off is typically quite interesting, because we don't do it well and people can tell it bugs us. To be clear, the reason they are doing it is precisely because it bugs you. Some people are like that. So, either turn it into an in-joke between you and them, or make it stop.

In your position, I would belt out this inspiring song in a lusty tenor voice:

Союз нерушимый республик свободных

Сплотила навеки Великая Русь.

Да здравствует созданный волей народов

Единый, могучий Советский Союз!

Until they beg you to stop.

Seriously, is it so hard to deal with some teenagers? Didn't they teach that at KGB school? :-P